Alexander

Review by: Ian Coote

The biggest flaw in Alexander is in the casting.

First off I have to say that my son and myself are a couple of history buffs, so when we heard that there was going to be a movie made about Alexander the Great, to say we were excited would be an understatement.We were like a couple of kids waiting for Christmas.When it was finally released, we both took the day of work--just had to see it at the first showing. So away we went, with my friend Hugh also in tow, we took our seats and eagerly waited for the opening credits. About 45 minutes in I slowly felt my son's head start to rest on my right shoulder, and I heard a very low snore. A quick glance over to my left showed that my friend Hugh's chin was resting on his chest and a very large drool was hanging from his mouth, making a wet stain on his pants. I thought he might have had the big one, but he was OK. A for me,I was starting to re-taste the Swedish meatballs I'd had for supper the previous night.

So what was wrong with this movie directed by Oliver Stone and starring Colin Farrel, Agelina Jolie? First, I had never seen a movie before with Colin Farrel, so I didn't know what to expect. Could Oliver Stone have picked a more whimpy guy to play Alexander? Don Knotts maybe, and whats with Angelina Jolie as Alexander's mom? Talk about total miscasting. She usually looks pretty good in movies, but in this one she looked like a really old Cher on a bad night.

The editing was terrible,jumping from scene to scene, none of it making any sense. I was about ready to leave after about an hour, but then thought no, I'll stick around, maybe the battle scenes will be pretty good. Boy was I wrong.Take Alexander's largest battle "Gaugamela," 35,000 Greeks against 250,000 Persians. This should have been a hum-dinger, except Stone decided to film it in a sandstorm. There were 285,000 combatants, and the most we see at any one time is about three,and that's from the waist down.

After awhile I was trying to figure out, wha'ts this movie about, what's the message Stone's trying to get across? Then it dawned on me. After about 20 shots of Alexander making loving gazes at any guy in sandals and a toga, I think I got it. Alexander was gay, and it's ok, and even gay guys can be macho and tough. Gee, thanks Oliver, who would have known? Alexander is acknowledged to be one of the greatest military commanders of all time; he never lost a battle in his short 32 years of life, but this film falls far short of doing his legacy justice.The biggest flaw in the film is casting Colin Farrel in a role that is clearly beyond his abilities.

I give it one star.

Movie review by Ontario corespondant: Ian Coote